The Driving Range

It seems that as we get older there are fewer places we can be alone with our thoughts to contemplate our own awesomeness and plan for future awesomeness. Besides the beach, the one place that I can always hit to get a quick vacation is the driving range.

I am not a big golfer, for Dumb's wedding tourny I put my handicap was a 45. I play 18 about once every 3 years. I really just like sitting in the cart, drinking beer, dipping, smoking cigars, and laughing.

But i love the driving range. The driving range i go to is the HP Golf Learning Center right off the highway about 7 minutes from my place. It is not attached to a golf course. There is a crappy minigolf course, a putting green, and about 65 "launching pads."

My driving range uniform includes.....
1) Fresh tin of skoal straight
2) Water bottle to spit in
3) ipod-which is currently loaded with real old Kenny, No Shirts..., Shooter and Waylon Jennings, Zac Brown, Ryan Adams, Kings of Leon, The Offspring, some Johnny Cougar and TP and the Heartbreakers
4) Chicago Bears' wristband pushed up to the forearm
5) golf glove ripped in the palm


So I basically dip my face off, listen to tunes, hit the driver, the todd hamilton, the 3 iron, the cup, and the niner for about a buck fifteen while letting my thoughts ramble.

Things that went through my head last night.......
1) Before I go to Atlanta on 10/17, i need to get a Cutler authentic.
2) I am pretty disgusted that QBs have been turned into robots, they should be calling most of the plays. If your QB is too stupid to recognize where the yards/points are, give his dumbass a clipboard.
3) Reading Buckley is probably one of the 7 to 10 greatest loves of my life. Only definately behind football, America, tailgating, my brothers, Chesney concerts, college football's coaching hot stove season and sex.
4) What the hell happened to E!'s Wild On? Jules Asner and Brooke Burke were phenomenal. Going to all these beach/vacation hot spot parties was a phenomenal idea for a tv. But the search for the next wild on host was some of the most captivating tv ever. I watched every second of that with Dumb in his apartment. The Winner Cindi Taylor, http://www.ew.com/ew/article/0,,417686,00.html, was a complete smoke show. Why don't they bring that show back?
5) I need to get a light purple polo shirt (not accomplished as of today)
6) I need to get a new pair of blublockers (snapped up during lunch) http://www.blublocker.com/prodinfo.asp?number=2701K
7) Why are Spike Lee's best movies, 25th hour (totally) and Inside Man (mostly), centered around white people? Also those two movies kick ass.
8) I suck at golf
9) I really suck at golf
10) Molly in Tin Cup was really hot in those golf pants
11) I love dipping