The thing about this blog that I enjoy the most is promoting people/places/things that I love that I feel are wildly underrated. Alex Rodriguez, Jimmy Clausen, John Bolton, Friday Night Lights, Ft.Lauderdale all fall into that category. I have gotten so super jacked when I get texts from friends telling me they have bought FNL DVDs and love Timmy Riggins or that they are sitting in the airport reading Surrender is Not an Option and getting fired up.
Well I have recently been introduced into the awesomeness of the Pretzel Bun. It really is insanity to eat a chicken sandwich, pulled pork, or a burger on anything but a Pretzel Bun. Not really sure how many grocery stores stock them regularly, but I know Trader Joe’s does.
If you are in the Chicago area here are three restaurants where you can order them….
It is an amazing heavy metal bar that serves all their burgers and sandwiches on Pretzel Buns. I recommend the Black Sabbath Burger (chili and pepper jack) or the pulled pork.
I apologize for not writing consistently recently. I hope to change that. I have been in a little bit of an existential funk combined with the need to get the hell away from the computer during personal time. I have a lot of planned topics that I hope to get up in the next few days and weeks. But lets get to some football picks for Sunday’s games. Now that the calendar is about to turn to November. Weather.com becomes an important resource, be very careful of weak armed QBs in the cold and wind.
Denver Broncos at Baltimore Ravens -3
Baltimore has lost three tough games in a row after looking like the best team in football for the first three weeks. Vegas and a lot of the insiders believe this is where Denver gets their first blemish, I do not. The Raven defense has looked mediocre and Flacco has come back to earth. I think that Nolan and the Bronco D contain Ray Rice, putting the game in the hands of Orton against the Raven D. I like Orton and Brandon Marshall against the perimeter of the Ravens’ D. Outside of Ed Reed, Ngata and Murder Ray (who all play up the middle), the Baltimore Defense is weak, too quite week. The weather is supposed to be mild with not a lot of wind, which should mitigate Flacco’s arm strength advantage over Orton. Taking Denver and the points.
Cleveland Browns at Chicago Bears -13
I am still not picking this game, but I want to address the state of the Bears with ten games left. I am so fucking pissed off that I have been having trouble sleeping or smiling for the past three weeks. We have yet to play a complete game, our offense line vying for worst in the league status (non-Buffalo division) and our “fantasy stud” sophomore running back is playing like a douche. Our defense has played well (except our DTs which haven’t been behind the line of scrimmage in 3 years. Think West Berliners staring at the Berlin Wall and after a while forgetting what the other side was like and becoming resigned to the fact that the wall would never come down. I hate Tommie Harris and want him cut or incarcerated for grand theft at times but refuses to force turnovers, which is a fatal because we are built as a small, fast defense so by the end of the game we get worn down and humped up and down the field.
Pleasantly surprised by the receivers and overall happy with Midway Jay although the red zone TOs have been killers.
Houston Texans at Buffalo Bills +3.5
Unfortunately for the Bills, the upstate New York weather is supposedly going to be unseasonably mild and stud Texan Andre Johnson is going to be able with his bruised lung. This has been a passing league for the past few years and with good weather and his security blanket, Matt Schaub should be able to get the job done on the road. Super Mario might have set a record for sacks in a game going against Harvard and that tissue paper Bill Oline. Taking Houston and giving the points.
Vikings at Packers -3
I think this game is a toss up. The weather isn’t going to be that great for Favre (low 40s), the turf at Lambeau should slow down Jared Allen, and Winfield is out for the Vikings. But #28 is still their running back, they still have that O-line, and they are going to be highly motivated to win for #4. The Packers are going to be jacked up for the game and are coming off a big W, and when Rodgers gets time he is filthy. But I have yet to see the Packers beat a really good team in the past 22 games and when I am not sure, I will take the points. Vikings.
San Fran Niners at Peyton Manning -13.5
That spread is a monster, and I think Joe Staley can keep Freeney off new starter Alex Smith long enough for the Niners to cover but not win.
Miami Dolphins at New York Jets -3.5
Battle of the new young signal callers that I like less than everyone else covering football. After watching all of Henne’s 55 games at Michigan, he is just too stiff and prone to big picks to be any better than a middle of the road QB. Sanchise doesn’t have the arm strength to hurt you consistently. Bad time to be a Jet fan, bust QB and a buffoon HBC. Sell high on the J-E-T-S. Even though Rex Ryan was the one that shut down the wildcat, I think this new version will move the ball and score enough to cover and win. Taking the Fins and the points.
St. Louis Rams at Detroit Lions -4
Stafford has been updated to probable, so I am going to take the Lions and give the points. The Rams are putrid.
Seattle Seahawks at Dallas Cowboys -9.5
Seattle just doesn’t have the horses to hang with a Cowboy team in JerryWorld coming off a big home W against the Falcons. Like Mora as a coach and think he can get them turned around eventually but can hide terrible players. Romo has a good stretch in him and should be the difference maker for the ‘boys for a few games. Taking the Cowboys and giving the points.
Oakland Raiders at San Diego Chargers -16.5
I hate the Chargers and think they are weak mentally. They need to get rid of everybody but Philip if they want to have any sustained success. But at home against a crap Raider team, I will swallow hard and hope that Philip can light them up enough to cover the monster spread. Chargers.
Jacksonville Jaguars at Tennessee Titans -3
This game is gross. The AFC South should be ashamed of itself. I have written before that these in division games are always close and I expect this to be the same, but I will never, ever take VY and give points. Jags and the points.
Carolina Panthers at Arizona Cardinals -10
The Panthers have quit, it has been a nice long and successful run for Foxy but it has to end. No first round pick in a monster QB draft. Gotta to clean house, find a new ball coach and hope the Locker gets to you in 2011. I hated writing this. The Cardinals are going to throttle the black cats.
New York Giants at Philadelphia Eagles +1
Westbrook is listed as doubtful and I don’t see the Eagles beating the G-men without him. The weather should not effect Eli’s passing and the Giants play well in division games. Giants giving the point.
Atlanta Falcons at New Orleans Saints +11
I think that the Falcons are well coached and will not lay two eggs in a row on the road. I have trouble laying double digits for in division games especially when they are both dome teams. Taking the Falcons and the points.
Glad to see that now that the painful Scott and Georgina storylines came to merciful end, we could get back to the bread and butter of teen soaps….making huge deals out of lame events that only losers would care about. Couldn't find a good picture to go with the episode. Vogler's comments are in italics.
Serena
Why is Serena still defending Carter? Didn’t he prove his asshole ways 17 times on this show already? Plus 3, because she is really that naïve.
Serena Van Der Woodsen, poker expert…..nope. Minus 4. Also, why is she still on Carter? She has the attention span of a fruit bat, she would be dating David Lee, Nick Swisher or some other white boy New York athlete by now. Minus 2.
Carter
Carter is starting to look scarily like Christian from “Clueless,” even down to the weird face twitches. No points, just couldn’t help but point it out.
Blair
Blair, you’re right, you are Audrey, and don’t ever forget it!! Plus 1
One of Blair’s friends has on a really unfortunate yellow belt.She can’t even find friends at school in New York who shop at Bergdorf’s? , Times ARE tough for Blair at NYU. Minus 5 because I still feel sympathetic for her even after seeing her throw Chuck under the bus.
They have given up on giving Blair any semblance of real human emotions or actions. Minus 7. If they are using her ridiculousness to bring Chuck back to life, I approve, if not it might ruin the show. Her petty, self righteous, class specific speech made it seem that the end of the second season never happened.
Chuck
It’s quite impressive that Chuck can be that good (and sexy) while hitting on both sexes. “Can I help you?”“Oh definitely” is right!! Plus 10.
At the end of the episode, Chuck realizes that he is in love with a girl that doesn’t love him as much as he loves her. But instead she sees him as means to an end (and unfortunately a small piece) of her dream life. Plus 35 because he immediately flips out and heads back home to be alone, which is what every guy in his situation would do.I really think it is time for them to be broken up or at least tease us with the possibility.
The preview for next week has me super jacked, an angry, spiteful Chuck Bass…..yes please!
Nate
Didn’t Grandpa Archibald offer Nate this political internship last season? And didn’t he turn it down because he wanted to go to Europe with Vanessa? And didn’t he then dump Vanessa? Good to know he’s now basically doing the internship (a year later), and has ruined his relationship with Vanessa and his Grandfather in the meantime. High School boys never could make up their minds. Plus 5
PLUS 75. I am now starting a petition for a Nate Archibald spinoff. I was watching with my sister and when he threw the phone with the bong photo on it, I turned to Jean and said, “If the writers are smart that photo is a fake and Nate will officially become my new favorite character.” Boom!Also I loved Nate using Serena getting, she might as well provide some value to someone else on the show. After she stopped sleeping with Dan, she has been nothing but a plague on the other main characters. Plus 3.
Guys are not okay with being duped by chicks unless it is purely for sex, the fact that he is bent on revenge against Bree and the Buckleys is exactly what 99% of the male population would be focused on. Plus 10. Using Serena as a pawn in his plan is a double bonus, because she sucks and since he has no feelings for her and has already knocked her out. Plus 3.
Dan
“So what are you gonna do this weekend to thank me?”Talk about the easiest layup ever that Olivia gave to Dan. His response: inviting her to a school dinner with his parents? Really? Think she’s gonna put out after that? Apparently she will, but it’s still lame. Minus 3.
I wish they would just let Dan run through a plethora of goth NYU chicks so I could live vicariously through him. Although I have a huge unexplainable Kristen Stewart crush, the diluted Hilary Duff version is not doing it for me. It was a wasted episode for one of the season’s best characters. No points.
Vanessa
Vanessa makes one documentary about a community garden and is celebrated as one of the most giving students at NYU? That school is filled with granola hipsters who spend all their free time “changing the lives of other New Yorkers.”There’s no way Vanessa has out done them in the volunteer category. Minus 5.
Vanessa has parents? Who knew? Plus 1.
Terrible as always, she needs to start dating a professor or something. I have no emotion invested in her and she and Blair have no chemistry on screen. Although I was laughing at the typical liberal stereotypes. No points.
Lilly
Her self satisfied smile while choking down laughter as Vanessa’s mom was spouting out pinko commi garbage was amazing. I have the same smile. Plus 65
Rufus
Vanessa and Rufus have some serious chemistry! Over under on how many more seasons it takes for them to hook up? I give it one, (this college story line is gonna get old quick).Along with Vanessa’s daddy issues, you know there is some seriously messed up shit in order for these two! Plus 15 for potential!
“Dan, was that Blair? She really should have run that speech by someone.” Close second behind Georgina’s “grab your ass” comment as the greatest line of the season. Plus 50. Also after Blair comes out of that back room, Rufus’s look was priceless. Nice bounce back episode for Sandy Cohen Redux.
At work after an amazing Chicago Tuesday night with friends from NYC. The Hang Uppe’s and the Admiral Theatre were prominently involved and booze is still coming out of the marrow of my bones. Never ever thought I would contemplate moving to New York, but after a night with Capano and Corrine I am extremely motivated to write a book, get rich and kill the Big Apple. The sad (or great) thing is that my love for Jay Cutler and Lance Briggs is really the only thing keeping me in Chicago. On to the recap of the show that along with Chucky makes Monday bearable, The Vogs comments are in italics……………
I thought this episode sucks. I wish Lily would have blown Scott’s brains out and Chuck and Blair take care of the body so that story line never returns again. I used to love Georgina, but she has stopped being fun or interesting except for one of the greatest lines ever uttered on the show see below for details. Hopefully the fact that we were able to wrap up some of the worthless story lines will allow the writers to give back Chuck his balls and Blair her brains. They could do a lot more with the male characters, but I think because the audience is probably 85% female, they are unwilling to cut them loose.
At least Evil Georgina is back and we finally don’t have to worry about any more dramatic build up with “what will happen when Lily and Rufus find out Scott is their son?” Duh duh dunnnn. Also I was overjoyed to see Dorota wearing floral prints and a large hat. That almost made up for the ridiculousness involving how many kids Lily and Rufus actually have now. Think about it, they are now the technical parents of Dan, Serena, Eric, Jenny, Chuck, and Scott. That’s 6 out of 9 characters on the show. Maybe in season 4 the writers will find a way for the Van der Woodsen clan to adopt Blair, Vanessa and Nate, but let’s not put any ideas in their heads. On to the recap!
Serena
I actually thought they did a nice job not forcing Serena down our throats this episode. Even though Serena is the most selfish character on the show, getting Rufus and Lily back together fits because she is a hopeless romantic (or a world class slut if you are cynic). Plus 10.
There is no way she wouldn’t have flipped out on Dan for dating a movie star though. I know she is a big free love booster, but come on petty jealous outweighs moral righteousness. Minus 2
Blair Minus 5. Blair is the least manipulative chick on this episode. Even Vanessa was more entertaining and devious. Oh thank god, looks like I spoke too soon. She teamed up with her loyal partner in crime Dorota for a good old fashioned Georgina take down. Plus 5 so even.
I agree that it was nice to Blair getting the better of Georgina, but it wasn’t set up at all and came across as an easy way out. I HATE LAZY WRITING. Minus 3.
The lack of sex between her and Chuck is becoming distracting. Minus 2. Her hating Bree Buckley and making anti-Texas jokes is exactly what sheltered northeast kids do. I hate it in real life, found it funny coming out of her mouth. Exes always hate the new (and all future) squeeze. Plus 5. If you are a Friday Night Lights fan, Bree Buckley dropped some amazing references. I NEED SOME ERIC TAYLOR IN MY LIFE IMMEDIATELY. I have been reduced to listening to Simmons 30 for 30 podcast with Peter Berg to get some insight. I am waiting until it airs on NBC, but will absolutely be doing a recap when it airs.
Chuck
Even though Chuck is still in love with Blair in this episode and being “the good boyfriend”, he wins points for his amazing bedroom scene giving her a hard core massage. I can get over my longing for “bad ass drunk Chuck” just as long as he partakes in some sort of interaction that I can fantasize being a part of. Plus 20.
I hate what they are doing to him, I can’t even write about it because it just makes me too mad.
They need to bring back Jack Bass and start focusing on Chuck’s business. He is above all this petty b.s. with Blair. They need to break them up again.
Nate Plus 2 for the fact that Nate gets used constantly, this time by Bree to get to Carter. That pretty face is really only good for one thing, so stop pouting in the corner and just own it.
I’ll give them a pass for not capitializing on Nate’s breakout in last episode because the preview for next week looks tremendous. But Vogler is right, Nate makes a good dupe. Plus 5. You have to risk it with hot rich chicks that let you bang them out for an entire weekend.
Dan What the hell is this weird computer that Dan is using to communicate with Olivia? From what I gather, all he’s using it for is to text. Does he not realize that they now have convenient pocket sized devices for that these days. And they are also useful for checking email and making phone calls. Minus 2. Or maybe this is one of those new high tech gadgets that are awarded as prizes on the Real World Road Rules Challenge. In that case I’m totally not in the loop, and Minus another 2 cause I should know since I also watch “The Ruins.”
Gossip Girl is terrible with the product tie-ins, they hit you with them like a shovel to the face. So the computer scene Vogs is referencing is completely consistent, Plus 3. No guy is intimidated by Orlando Bloom, he looks like a tool and plays a tool in all of his movies. I would let him house sit even if I had a super hot nympho girlfriend. Plus 10.
Vanessa How on earth does Vanessa know that Scott “takes the chinatown bus to get back to Boston.” First of all, they only dated for a week and she’s acting like they had a long distance relationship for over a year where she would be justified in knowing his travel preferences and habits. Second, there are about 27 different ways to make this commute, 13 of them being various bus routes, knowing he’s on the Chinatown bus is way too specific. And lastly, anyone who takes the bus to get to Boston prefers to take the Bolt Bus because its only $1 and has WiFi. Minus 10. TOO MUCH VANESSA. Minus 25. She is a supporting character and needs to remain one.
Jenny Does jenny not understand the concept of a wedding dress? It’s supposed to be white, not magenta. Plus 5, because that’s actually in character for her during her current “hippie rebellious phase,” which is also playing out in her long tie-die skirts and greasy hair.
Jenny wins the award for biggest swing in attractiveness from one episode to the next. Shockingly hot at the movie premiere, dog ugly in this entire episode. And this is coming from a guy who has a sick attraction to goth chicks. Lily or Eric would have stomped out this trend within 5 minutes. Minus 25
Georgina Georgina doesn’t even gesture to try and cover Scott with her umbrella and he’s stuck in the pouring rain. But yes, let’s go buy him a tie. That will make him perfectly prepared for the wedding. She is an evil chick isn’t she! Plus 1.
“What does it mean when a guy used to grab your ass and now he doesn’t” Plus 100. Glad she is gone for now, but loved that line.
Good point Steve, that was a phenominal line, and so true. Girls can always tell that something is wrong with a boy when they make just the slightest change in their sexual behavior.
Lilly
Didn’t Lily already have the baby (in real life)? What is she covering with Birkin bags now? Minus 3 because even though Kelly Rutherford was having a messy divorce, she would still find time for a personal trainer.
The Constance girls are planning the wedding? Doesn’t Lily have money? Why does she need to hire students and Dorota? Minus 5. And Jenny is designing the wedding dress. As if Lily didn’t already have options lined up from Vera, Oscar, and Monique. (Very girly reference yes, but I can’t help myself. Steve can talk football I can talk clothes)
Since when does Lily have hesitations about getting married? Can’t she just say some vows, exchange a ring, kiss the dude and get divorceda few weeks later like she did with the multiple Klaus’s? Minus 10.
Rufus Why is Rufus sleeping on the couch? First of all I totally didnt realize that he was having trouble with Lily, and even if he was, why isn’t he sleeping in one of their 7 guest rooms? Minus 2. To Lily “You’ve done the fancy wedding thing multiple times, don’t you want to do something more “us”?” and by “us” he clearly means him right? No way in hell Lily isn’t wearing oodles of pearls and diamonds to her 47th wedding. Does he not know her at all? Plus 7, because he is so in denial.
Lily and Rufus end up getting married in Brooklyn. Yes I have heard that the Brooklyn Botanical Gardens are quite impressive, but still, it’s Brooklyn. I wonder who’s suggestion that was? Plus 5 for the potential for one of her husbands to get his way once in a while!
Rufus was the frontman for one of the ten most underrated bands of the 90s, Lincoln Hawk. He wrote and sang the greatest song of all time, Everytime. But he acts like a kept loser. Minus 30. Was watching U-571 a couple days ago (way underrated) and Rufus gets shot in the movie. You're kidding yourself if you don't think I broke out the chorus of Everytime.
The Vogs is back for episode 4, and I added some of my own thoughts. I’ll turn it over again to Whitney……..
I’m so excited and flattered to be back for my second attempt at recapping Gossip Girl. I’m also joined by a very special guest – Janet Vogler! That’s right, my mom is visiting me and she is super pumped to watch some GG. I am slightly less pumped though, as I know I’ll have to pause the show many times to answer questions like “Now how much rent is that apartment, why can’t you live in something like that?” and “where can I find this dark haired vixen in the purple ties?”I ask myself that question every day.On to the recap!
This week Steve and I are making it even easier on you by organizing the comments by character. My comments are in italics and Stevo’s are regular.
Serena
Not really sure how to react to Season 3 Serena. Part of me wants them to kill her off like Marissa in the OC, but the other part of me realizes that her flaky, liberal, slutty way of doing business would drive me completely up the wall (in the best possible way) in real life. Plus 10 though for bringing Serena’s conscience as important part of the show; her struggling with trying to be good while fighting her urges to whore it out was a crux of the first two seasons. It gave her a purpose on the show other than parading around in that body that refuses to quit.
Lily’s back, and Serena covered up 15% of her cleavage to celebrate the occasion! Hooray. Plus 2. But wait, I spoke to soon; apparently she thought a bedazzled bandage dress was appropriate “work attire”. Plus 2 because she would.
Serena now works for Tyra. How on earth will they fit in a room big enough for their hair AND their egos? Minus 5.
Plus 5 for ultimately choosing to do the right thing, she is still the same naïve idealist from the pilot. I’m pretty sure I would pay about six grand a year to get an unrated version of this show on HBO for some nudity.
Blair
Minus 5 for Blair wanting to host the annual Constance sleepover? Everyone knows it’s not cool to hang out with high-schooler’s after you graduate. And attending your girlfriends’ senior prom when you’re a college freshman is no excuse Steve.
Minus 10 for the Blair/Constance story line. Even if she wanted to go back to high school she would have known it was lame. When have super rich hot girls ever felt left out?Especially ones who are smart and funny. Season 1&2 Blair rivals Summer Roberts as the greatest female TV character of all time…..now they are killing her. (Side note: So fired up for Rachel Bilson getting added to the How I Met Your Mother cast, I can only watch Jumper so many times)
If she was feeling insecure she would have been clinging to her relationship with Chuck, not bailed on the invitation to the movie premiere. Minus 5
Chuck
Minus 100. They have neutered one of the greatest war daddies of all time. He just bought a hotel, but is spending his time nurturing his girlfriend’s insecurity and not drilling her constantly. All relationships until your late 30s are built strictly around sex. I am not even sure what the point of having these two together is anymore. Watching him is making me sad and angry, I never thought I would say that.I still like watching him. Plus 10.
I was kind of hoping that all of Chucks lines “I’m Chuck Bass” would also serve the purpose of reminding Chuck who he is.Can he please snap out of this nice thoughtful phase immediately and go back to being a perpetually intoxicated, filthy rich, sexy asshole? Minus 5.
But Plus 35 for the text asking for “one on one tutoring.” Flirting through text messages with your shorty, is one of the underrated joys of life. It’s the perfect thing to do during commercials/half time, it makes work much more interesting and church bearable.
Dan
You never turn down the chance to hook up with a celebrity unless it is public knowledge they have a STD, Minus 10. Also he would have found a way to drop that his dad is the frontman for the Lincoln Hawk and wrote “Everytime” (I can not f’ing believe I can’t buy the single on itunes. It needs to be my ringtone.)So he knows what its like to be famous and can relate to her drama. Minus 3.
Dan just wants a normal girl with no drama. To quote Cher from Clueless, “I don’t think so.” His history includes Serena (tabloid regular), Georgina (crazy psycho bitch), and his teacher who was fired for their inappropriate relationship. If he wanted a normal girl he’d date Vanessa. Minus 15.
He should already have a girlfriend at NYU that plays in punk band and has pink hair. Minus 5.
Vanessa
Vanessa is exactly the type of the girl that would make sweeping generalizations about relationships based off her own one week relationship. Plus 20
Nate
Nate immediately recognizes Olivia from her role in Eternal Nights. Plus 5 because of course he’s into vampire movies. Everyone knows vampires are so-hot-right-now for 13 year old girls.
When did he become the smartest character on the show? Loving the new take charge Nate; having Dan do his papers, brilliant. Just like JFK taking credit for Profiles in Courage (Ted Sorensen). More Nate, More Nate’s Grandfather, more hot chick from Reba. Plus 7.
Jenny
Plus 10 for Jenny’s minions trying to copy Jenny’s style, and plus another 10 for how Jenny actually hates her look on someone else. It’s like she looked in the mirror for the first time and realized she looks like a crazy anorexic raccoon.
The “old way” at Constance includes colored headbands, pristine curls, and pearls. Ahh, I too long for the days of season 2. Plus 1
Hillary Duff aka “Olivia”
Olivia tries to fit in with normal people by claiming to be from Jersey and wearing a fedora. Plus 8 for effort.
Extra Credit
Tory Burch, I thought you were better than Tinsley Mortimer.If only you realized that you don’t need to guest star on a popular show to be relevant.Both of you are already all over the style section, enough is enough. Minus 10, and I vow to not wear your shoes for a week.
Tyra, Tyra.Where do I begin?Being a fan of America’s Next Top Model, I’m regrettably way too familiar with the modeling lessons and challenges she requires of all the wannabe Agnes Dean’s on her show.Every season Tyra sends the girls on an acting challenge and explains how essential being a good actress is for modeling. You know what else being a good actress is essential for? Acting!! I don’t think I’ve seen such bad acting since I watched Denise Richards as Christmas Jones in a 007 The World is not Enough.Minus 12 for the sheer annoyance of having to watch Tyra overcompensate with “fierceness.”
I have a huge problem with one aspect of this whole season. Everyone has cell phones and laptops but this group of friends is constantly dropping in on each other. I haven’t dropped in on someone since I got a cell phone.They would be at least texting each other to say “I’m stopping by.” The writers don’t know how to deal with cell phones/facebook for everyday life; they act like they are only used for pictures of people making out. Minus 25.
No one is getting black out. Maybe I am jaded because I went to the greatest rage-aholic school of all time, but there are a bunch of horny 18 year olds in college and there is no irresponsible drinking? Only Minus 3 because NYU sucks and is for artists, future spinsters and out of the closet gays so they wouldn’t be concerned with reaching warrior status. But if the show was trying to be real there would be much more blow. It is New York.
Total: Minus 83. Apparently Steve and I are feeling especially salty this week. I guess we both have trouble with change, and Chuck better step the F up.
I had some massive computer problems at the end of the week, I just got my laptop back from Geek Squad. Also I got too wrapped up in one of the best fall Saturdays in the last ten years to take the time and do write ups for the NFL games. Here are my picks.....
Texans cover the 8.5 hosting the Raiders Titans cover the 3.5 at Jacksonville Ravens win outright and don't need the 1.5 they are getting at New England Bengals cover the 6.5 they are giving the visiting Browns Chiefs won't beat the Giants at Arrowhead, but will cover the 9 Redskins will win but not cover the 9 they are giving the Bucs Visting Seahawks will be able to score enough to cover the 10 against a Freeneyless Colt ball club I have no idea who is going to win Jets at Saints, so I will take the Jets and the 7.5 Give me the Bills and the 1.5 at Miami I'll take the 9.5 and the visiting Rams at San Fran Give me Jason Witten and take the 3 at New Mile High How can the Steelers be giving six to the Chargers? Even when the Steelers win these games they are always close. Give me Philip. I'll take Brett and give the 4 to the visiting Packers.
Time for Week 5. This week’s guest is my buddy Will “Chuck Daddy” Ralston. We were freshmen and sophomore year roommates and to this point he is only person to share a room with me for longer than 10 days. So to make up for the horrors I put him through and as a thanks for being an incredible American, I asked him to do the picks. He is in lawyer school at WVU and will be at the game tonight. Nobody has ever had better blender parties than we did, and Chuck was partner in crime for my favorite Davidson College story of all time. But on to the picks…………….
Colorado Buffalos at WVU Mountaineers -17 I have no problem giving the 17 on Thursday night. Morgantown is a tough place to play and Hawk and the Buffs haven’t shown anything that would make you believe they can keep this one close. The Mountaineers are really explosive and even if Brown isn’t 100% they should be able to end this one early. The Buffalo alumni should be ashamed of themselves for letting the football program atrophy to this extent. They must go to sleep in a pot induced hazed and dream of the Gary Barnett era. Not only was Katie a girl, but Katie was terrible. I shouldn’t pick this game but I am going to. The ‘Neers should have beaten Auburn two weeks ago but unfortunately you don’t win a lot of games where you give up the ball 6 times and your coach is a smiling moron. Jarrett Brown should be better on Thursday night with the rowdy Mo’town crowd behind him but 17 is a big number for this team. WVU will win but it will be closer than 17. On a personal note, I stood behind Coach Stew at Subway last week and he ordered a Double Turkey and Double Ham Sub. If this man coached like he ordered sandwiches, we would be in the BCS every year. Unfortunately, all he knows is how to call bubble screens.
Wisconsin Badgers at Minnesota Gophers -2.5 I actually haven’t seen the Badgers play this year, but rumors are they have been getting improved QB play. Minnesota’s new stadium is a tough place to play and Eric Decker plays nude. The home field advantage and my inability to believe that the Badgers have improved that much over a B.R.utal 08. Classic Big Ten Snoozefest. I’m going with 'Sconsin. Mostly because I met a few Badgers at Disneyland before the 1994 Rose Bowl. Speaking of another Big Ten Snoozefest that I will happily be attending (or at least tailgating) this weekend, here are my bonus picks: Penn St is gonna murder Illinois. I am gonna murder some brats and Old Styles in the Memorial Stadium parking lot. Hopefully, there may be a little bag slappin’ as well.
NC State Wolfpack at Wake Forest Deacons -1 Fork Father is taking it to road this week, and the Pack are going to continue the momentum from ripping out Petrags heart in the 4th Qt last week. I think that BC sucks incredibly bad and they were able to beat Timmy’s boy Riley Skinner last week. Highlight from last week’s Pack game was TOB’s press conference where he dropped this gem… “These guys (his team) think they are good, they are not.” Pitt was a nice pickup by the Pack but I’ll go with the Deacons at home. I like Grobe and Riley Skinner to come up with something big.
Washington Huskies at Notre Dame Fighting Irish -13 My love for Jimmy Clausen is getting close to ARod levels. The fact that everybody hates those guys and think they are douches justs make them more attractive to me. But a hobbled #7 and that Defense against an angry Huskie team….Child, Please…..I will take the 13. Ty Willingham Bowl. I like the Irish in this game but don’t see a two touchdown victory. I just hope they put in Rudy for the last play. He works so hard.
LSU Tigers at Georgia Bulldogs -3 AJ Green is the most dominate player in college football. I can’t stand the Dawgs but I hate Two-Loss-Les way more. The Tigers lucked out in Seattle and Starksville, it runs out in Athens. LSU looked none too impressive last week against Miss St. I’ll take the Dawgs to cover easily at home.
Oklahoma Sooners at Miami Hurricanes +7 30% chance for isolated thunderstorms in South Florida, can’t take the Canes if it rains. Oklahoma has bounced back with strong outings after the disaster in JerryWorld. Even though Bradford is still out, I think they find a way to dictate this game. They weather is going to play a huge roll in this game. Sooners in the rain, Canes cover if it is dry. I could go either way on this one because I really like Jacory Harris but I’m gonna take the Sooners and the points. There defense is solid enough that it doesn’t matter if it’s Bradford or Landry Jones under center. Also I think the actual Miami team is closer to the team that played Va Tech than team that crushed Ga Tech. They still could have won the Big East going away.
Michigan Wolverines at Michigan State Spartans -2.5 Rivalry game on the road, frosh QB with be with a bum shoulder, angry host….I hate the Wolverines but Sparty is purtrid. Taking the maize and blue. Surprisingly, not a huge RichRod fan but have been a big fan of what Forcier has done in the 4th quarter this season. I like the maize and blue in this one.
Oregon State Beavers at Arizona State Sun Devils -5 I thought that Oregon State was going to be better and I think Dennis is going to get his guys ready to go at home. I’ll give the 5. I’ll take the Sun Devils and the points for 3 reasons. 1) They played Georgia close in Athens, 2) they’re playing in Tempe, and 3) they have arguably the most attractive girls in the country waiting to party after the game.
UCLA Bruins at Stanford Cardinal -5 I like both these coaches a lot, especially Ricky. I think both these teams are pretty good, but UCLA was able to win in Neyland and Stanford couldn’t win in Winston-Salem. Getting 5 points seals me backing the Bruins. Even though the Stanford Indians errrr Cardinal have two guys from my high school on their roster, I am still going to go with the Bruins in a mini-upset. What can I say: I like coaches with law degrees who commit serious NCAA infractions everywhere they go. Also, I never like to see Chaney too happy so now that he is a Stanford Tree, his team can’t be too good.
Auburn Tigers at Tennessee Vols -2 The nations hottest offensive coordinator against the most famous defensive coordinator, but I think the other matchup is going to decide it. Allbarn stops the Vols and will score enough to win outright. Ralston is right, Layla Kiffin is a complete smokeshow. I’ll take Auburn to go into Knoxville and repeat what they did to WVU in the second half two weeks ago. I am biased though. Big wins by the Tigers make wvu’s interception-filled choke look a little better. Not that I don’t like Lane Kiffin (I especially like his smoking hot wife) but they are another year away from making noise.
