Top Movies of 2009

I have been told that the Clooney vehicle with the chick from the Departed and the director from Thank You for Smoking is the best movie of 2009. I haven’t seen it yet but if it is great, I will let you know. But I have seen three movies this year this year that will make my top 10 of the decade, the Hangover, Inglorious Basterds, and Billy Corben’s 30 for 30 Doc on “The U”. I want to promote these films and tell everyone to get them in their nextflix que immediately. (Gladiator, which came out in 2000, is by far the best movie of the zeroes. And there is a better than 50/50 chance that the Ridley Scott/Crowe team is making the best movie of the teens with Robin Hood)

3. The Hangover

I bet you have seen this already, but it is extremely rewatchable. I saw it 3 times in the theaters, the second time I dragged my parents to see it after a margarita infused dinner at On The Border. Now Big Steve and Julie watch Community religiously because of Dr. Ken. A great group friends in search of awesomeness; buoyed by love, loyalty and brotherhood will always be the basis for a great flick.

2. Inglorious Basterds

Tarantino made the best movie of the 90s with Pulp Fiction, and Reservoir Dogs is in the Top 8. But his latest movie while following the exact same formula (ensemble cast, short stories that come together), introduced us to one of the greatest characters in the history of fiction. Hans Landa, the Jew Hunter, joins the following (I am sure I have missed a few) Steve-o’s Hall of Fame of Male Fictional Characters: Sherlock Holmes, Long John Silver, Brett Maverick, Capt. Steve Hilts and Lt. Hendley, Jay Gatesby, Jake Barnes, Captain Ahab, Jason Bourne, Captain Hook, Philip Marlowe, Rick Blaine, Quint and Martin Brody, Han Solo and Darth Vader, Roy Hobbs, Huck Finn, Indiana Jones, Maximus, Martin Riggs and Roger Murtaugh, John McLane, Maverick (Pete Mitchell) Tom Kasanski (Iceman) and Nick Bradshaw (Goose), John Crees, Andy Dufresne, Casey Rybeck, Michael Patrick “Guns” Donovan, Sean Thorton, The Joker, Martin Brody, Ebby Calvin Laloosh, Stefen Djordevic, Tim and Billy Riggins, Buddy Garrity, Matt Saracen, Eric Taylor, Tony Stark, Don Draper and Roger Sterling, Tony Soprano and Christopher Moltisanti, George Costantza and Cosmo Kramer, Jack Bauer, and Dexter Morgan.

1. Billy Corben’s ESPN 30 for 30 documentary “The U”

By far the greatest film of 2009, Billy Corben’s retrospective on the Miami Hurricane football program from 1983-1993 is 2 hours (with commercials) that everyone alive should see immediately. It is the story of the greatest American revolution since 1776. A football team for an entire decade spit in the face of an establishment that was dead from the inside out.

The theme of my high school freshman English class was the idea that “Might makes Right” and “History is Written by the Winners”, and since it was a public school they tried to debunk this theory. But anyone with a brain realizes that this world is governed by the successful use of aggressive force. This upstart program out of South Florida, cultivated the athletic talent that was a much of a natural resource as oil is to the Saudi, quickly established a reign of terror over the world of college football. Here are the top ten moments of the flick off the top of my head…….

10. Tad Foote (Dean Wormer) talking about his love for the athletic programs, while Double J looks at him with hate from the marrow of his bones.

9. Lamar Thomas speaking about manipulating his women being more important than winning the national championship, because he knew they were going to win

8. The Cal Game

7. Dennis Erickson, at his first team meeting after taking over for Double J, being ordered to “not fucking touch the defense.”

6. At the Cotton Bowl against Texas after winning the coin toss, the ref asked Jerome Brown if they want to “kick or receive”, his answer…”WE THE BOSS”. The ref gave them ball.

5. Steve Walsh is going out to dinner and he runs into a bunch of his teammates in ski masks over their heads and paper bags (conceals guns) over their hands, he asks them, “what is going on?” The answer he gets is …. “going to get some stereos.”

4. Melvin Bratton and the Defense calling all of the Sooners the night before the Orange Bowl and taunting them.

3. Michael Irvin having to be convinced not to fight an entire gang for disrespecting his teammate, he stopped only after being told that “those dudes are real life killers.”

2. Randal Hill at the Cotton Bowl against Texas

1. Jerome Brown at the Fiesta Bowl against Penn State (Did the Japanese sit down with Pearl Harbor?)