There are two posts today, please scroll down to see the earlier post...
Couple of notes:
1) Downloaded Lunatic Fringe by Red Rider. Tremendous song, I think I need to make it my new pre-going out anthem. (I know Simmons talked about this recently)
2) On a similar note, I picked up a used copy of Vision Quest. Incredible movie. Linda Fiorentino in 1985, MEOW! As hot as Lea Thompson in All the Right Moves
3) My Bama Houndstooth baseball hat came today. If I wasn't awesome, I couldn't pull it off. I look forward to being berated by The Bippidity Boppidity with chants of "Bama Bangs!"
4) Cruel Intentions is on FX. If that movie was an R, I am not sure if I would have made it out of my room for about two and half years. It would have been like Marty and the Jerry McGuire tape of Kelly Preston's side breast. The scene with Counting Crows "ColorBlind" in the background is pretty special. Its disappointing those two kids couldn't go the distance in real life.
Dating and Sports......
My first thought is that sports and dating mix perfectly, if you go to the game. The best dates I have been on were at Wrigley and the United Center.
For some reason, I am always a little bit more relaxed if I am at the game as opposed to watching it at home biting my nails and yelling at the coaches for being stupid. The live game allows me to soak it all in and bring my date with me on a emotional roller coaster, highlighted with real drama and civic pride. It also helps that I know everything and take it upon myself become captain of the section. Girls are used to going to games with their parents, other girl friends or the hummers they dated before me. I make a bigger impact in one game, then most people could in 6 or 7 dates. Within three hours I come across as 1)passionate 2) intelligent 3) independent 4) a leader and most importantly 5) FUN.
Too often I think we forget that relationships/dating are supposed to Fun and we get bogged down in all the other garbage associated with them.
As opposed to the benefits of the live game, watching games on tv with girls I am dating is a complete disaster. I end up completely ignoring them, yelling at the tv, throwing my hat, swearing constantly, calling up Fork, using the language of the frat and getting pissed off when she doesn't immediately understand, calling Big Steve, more yelling. I rarely ever watch games with girls unless I have a buffer of a couple other people. If somehow I get to a point in my life, where I would consider settling down with someone (doubtful) these are a few qualities I would look for so the relationship wouldn't interfere with football on tv.
1) Has to read. If the girl has a book she can sit on the couch knocking back a few pages, while I explain to no one in particular how bad Dave Wannestadt is coaching football. Also perfect for halftime hookups, touchdown groping and commerical/first downs makeout sessions.
2) Sleeps late on the weekends or gets out of the house. Girls pack their lives with errands and seem to be unwilling to slab all day on the weekends. Unless I am going to a game Fall and Winter Saturdays/Sundays are spent by getting up early, breaking a sweat, shower, 44oz fountain Diet Coke before kickoff. If someone is bouncing around the house running errands or talking about things other than Cutler's third down completion percentage, I end up snapping.
3) Complete fidelity to my teams. This is what is known as the Brian Fork dilemma. Forky is married to a Tar Heel, I don't know how he doesn't get divorced any time Butchie or Roy cheats. Thankfully TOB is too good to get bested by Butchie, but if something awful happened to me (i.e. Bears' lose) I couldn't handle if the person I am sharing a bed with was happy about it. Fork is able to thrive on it. The only thing I can figure to explain it, is the theory of fractional hatred. This is a theory that I have developed, the basic point is the someone is more attractive in your eyes if you hate them a little bit. It brings more heat to arguements and sex. The theory of fractional hatred manifest in my life in the fact that I am only attracted to liberal chicks.
4) Down to grill on demand. Grilling cool new stuff goes hand and hand with football. I have been watching Steven Raichlen on Barbeque Unversity on public television and getting some monster ideas. I have already snapped up a jalepeno rack(hopefully they will turn out like the ones at nice guy eddies in NYC http://maps.google.com/maps?hl=en&um=1&ie=UTF-8&q=nice+guy+eddies+nyc&fb=1&split=1&gl=us&view=text&latlng=15111066507254198298 )and promised myself that I am going barbeque oysters for the Bears game against the Niners. http://www.bbqu.net/ Get involved. Coming up with cool new stuff to put over flame or smoke is something that is better if it can be a group activity.
5) Look hot in team gear. It is a given that you will be getting gear from me, the girl needs to be fired up to throw it on and rock it with pride. Getting dressed up for games is completely out.
6) Understanding. I use beer and dip as momentum shifts to help my team. If we are down at the half, I need to slam to help turn the tables. If we are God Damn prevent, I will throw in a hammer to cause a turnover or sack. I can't be expected to bend on this fact.
till next time........
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