Reading as a strategic asset

Let me set the scene......A few weeks ago at this huge outdoor block party, I ran into this 22 year old actress that I have met a few times in the past year or so. Quick background story: I failed the crap out of Art History at Davidson (I thought the professor was joking when he said we needed to look at slides for an hour a day). So instead of just taking 3 classes my last semester, I enrolled in Acting with a bunch of theater kids and Wilkerdrunk. We had this crazy Italian professor (I tried to track him down on the site, but I can't remember his name), who was a major pain in the ass. Therfore, I have performed 5 or 6 acts of Mamet plays and other excerises. Consequently, I have pretty decent knowledge about the basics of the craft.

We were talking for a long time at this party, I was peppering her with intelligent questions and feeding her ridiculous lines about how much I respect acting...."It is so much more complicated than people realize"(It is not)..."I am so impressed that performance artists are such diligent students of human behavior"(I am not). I was also asking her about her favorite playwrights and plays. She was appreciating the attention and starting to look at me with doe eyes. But what happened next completely surprised me........

For some reason the conversation moved to the topic of what we were reading currently. She was reading standard Sex and The City spinoff chick lit, which is horrendous. I was able to show enough self restraint (not my strong suit) to abstain from either ripping her to shreds or laughing in her face. I just nodded my head, mentally made the decision that I was going to throw a few more innings to get some work in, then take myself out and let somebody else close (I have terrible bar game and I am WAY too picky when it come to girls and usually just want to dip and drink, which causes me to rarely hook up and hate myself a little bit).

But then I started talking about the stuff I was reading at the moment, specifically Aleksandar Hemon's The Lazerus Project. I am a worldclass manipulator if I am reasonable sober and decide to try. So I start explaining about how the dude is Bosnian and while visiting Chicago in 1992 Bosnia declared its independence and consequently came under siege from Serbian forces. So he stayed in Chicago, mastered English quickly and is considered one of our greatest writers. She was asking me follow up questions, which I crushed. I explained that I read a lot of immigrant writers from former Soviet Bloc countries, because they understand being oppressed and are our best clue to the mind set of the South Americans living under these commi dictators and the Arabs under Islamofacist thugs. Needless to say, her mind was blown. Which leads to her giving me "Goose, you big stud. Take me to bed or lose me forever" eyes, but instead I threw in a hammer of skoal straight and then went to get another beer b/c I hate her for reading chick lit.

The point of this story, besides the fact that I am a loser and might be half gay, is that girls in their twenties and early thirties read a lot more fiction than guys do. Most of my friends in Chicago barely read, and if they do it is GQ or business related books/trade publications. So the fact that I can converse and tell stories on topics that are unique sets me apart. This tool is also helpful for making conversation with strangers, if the classic "Where did you go to college? Then talk about how awesome/terrible the place is" move falls flat.

Reading interesting things whether they are magazine articles, newspaper features, books, or internet stories is like the hybrid club that guys on the PGA tour are using. It is easy to hit and useful in all types of situations. Below are a couple handfuls of hints I have to get this club in your bag (I am sure I missed some necessities, please let me know).......

1) Subscribe to National Review. They have an extensive book review section in the back and the writers often reference other texts in their columns and articles. I read that magazine with a ballpoint pen, circling the words I don't know and underlining the books I need to read. Also the majority of articles are incredibly well written, they not only rip liberals for their constant idiocy and ridiculous beliefs but offer common sense conservative solutions. I used to copy some of the articles and send them to the Desert Fox, but I just ended up getting her and Meatstick Dynamite subscriptions of their own. I also subscribe to The Weekly Standard, but outside of their Middle East and South American coverage which is better than NR, it is pretty much worthless. I recommend swinging by the library and taking 30 minutes to read their foreign correspondents every week.

2) Read Sports Illustrated. This magazine is pretty worthless these days, but when they do retrospectives (lately the Unitas/Raymond Berry and Harvey Haddix's 12 inning no hitter have been the best) they are usally phenomenal. So look at the writer and go on amazon to see if he/she has written anything else. Also sometimes they still will have great features, Albert Chen's article on defensive metrics and King's feature about Derrick Brooks' film study on Adrian Petersen are the two that pop to mind. If you are able to talk about anything with passion and expertise, you can impress a 22 year old girl. Even if it is UZR or Adrian Petersen's cut back tenedecies.

3) Raid your grandparents' bookshelves. They have been amassing books for 70 or so years. They will have a wide variety of stuff.

4) Use the amazon recommendations

5) Read Fitzgerald. Tender is the Night and The Great Gatesby, should be required of all Americans over the age of 18

6) Steinbeck is overrated, Grapes of Wrath sucks.

7) So is Hemingway, but read Sun Also Rises anyway.

8) Raymond Chandler, Dash Hammett, Ross MacDonald and even some current noir novelists (Dan Johnson) are tremendous reads.

9) If you have graduated from Junior High, Clive Cussler and John Grisham are no longer acceptable. Read Harlan Coben instead.

10) Brad Thor and Vince Flynn are still acceptable due to their heroes' similarities to Jack Bauer

11) Read Biographies. Ted Williams is my favorite subject. But take time to read obscure people. Right now I am reading James Palmer's Bloody White Baron about a Russian Noblemen who ended up in Mongolia raising hell. I loaned Meatstick Dynamite my copy of David Olgivy's bio, learned about the beginning of American advertisingIt is much more fun to learn history through the life of one person. Currently trying to track down a good books about David Niven and John Wayne.

12) Read about Toyota

13) Read about China and India

14) Read about the Civil War

15) Master and Margarita by Mikhail Bulgakov is a tremendous novel.

16) WEB Griffin wrote a three or four series with mulitple novels about the OSS, the Army, and the Marines. He use fictional characters intertwined real people (FDR, MacArthur, Bill Donavon) to paint a picture of war. I recommend these highly.