Vogler and I are back for the recap of Monday’s Gossip Girl. It was politically themed, which is makes sense because on Tuesday we saw Republicans take back the capitol in NJ and VA (I could not be more jacked up, Corzine was an absolute buffoon). On to the recap……..
Vanessa
Why on earth is Vanessa filming Trip Van Der Bilt’s campaign? Isn’t her entire motto that anything not from
Everyone in that Van Der Bilt family knows that Vanessa is loyal is her distorted moral compass and can’t be trusted with intimate details that may arise. There is absolutely no way she would be given full access to the campaign Minus 5.
Vanessa WOULD sell the tape to NY1. It’s the “honest” channel of and FOR the public. Even though it’s kind of lame, NY1 can be thanked for bringing me Pat Kiernan, previous host of VH1 World Series of Pop Culture. Oh how I wish for more than just 2 seasons of that fabulous show (what’s better than creative team names like “Almost Perfect Strangers” and questions about listing American Idol runners up in chronological order? It’s perhaps the only game show that I could ever be successful on) Plus 10.
What happened to Nate? Really, Vanessa? What happened to you? You’re the one filming a pro bono documentary about corrupt politics that goes against all your beliefs. Even though you revealed the tape, you still would be a disappointment to your mother…that’s right! Minus 5.
Vanessa is so stupid. Why not sell the tape back to Papa Van Der Bilt and keep her friend Nate. Although, she is that self righteous Plus 3. Also the press would never take down a democrat on election day. Minus 100.
Blair
Blair mentions Bar None as a pathetic NYU hangout. So true, and yet I’ve definitely been there and enjoyed $5 pitchers and
Blair’s new BFF is a Denise Richards wannabe. Plus 3. Oh, and she’s a high class call girl…perfect! Plus 5.
This fishing for friends expedition is completely ridiculous, and the fact that Blair was prompted to do it because Serena teased her about going to the party alone. Minus only 3, because it was sort of like I Love You, Man. And that movie kicked ass. SLAPPING THE BASS!!!
I don’t pretend to understand female friendships, but that across the street standoff was a strong scene even if it was overly dramatic. Plus 6
Was a little bit intrigued by Blair’s diatribe against Serena mentioning that she is “drifting away from Dan.” Wonder if they are going to try to bring those two together at any point soon.
Serena
Apparently high profile political events where you need to impress your new boyfriends’ colleagues call for belly button baring cleavage dresses. Plus 5, because as we know in Serena’s world, her step father’s funeral also requires the same ensemble.
I’m kind of surprised that Serena doesn’t see her interaction with Brandeis as a new job opportunity? She’s already whoring herself out to her Patrick Robinson, why not get a few more designer bags out of it? Plus 2 because I think it will come to that at some point.
Serena and Tripp are totally having an affair next season. It’s gonna be the same killer episode as when Vanessa and Rufus do it. I can’t wait. Plus 7.
Loved that her only response to being called a whore by Blair was shoving her in the cake. Plus 10.
Finally a character I can relate to. Serena’s fake boyfriend treated that party like I have treated every single formal event I have attended since I was 19. Plus 70.
Olivia
Has Olivia never had media training 101? Talking about the embarrassing moments of your boyfriend of 1 month on a talk show is not only not a good way to impress the public, but it’s also probably gonna be a good way to end the relationship. You’re not that hot Hillary Duff. Minus 5.
Nobody celebrates a one month anniversary, I am a complete sap and that would send me running for the hills. Minus 10
I thought Hilary Duff looked pretty hot at some points in the episode. Plus 8. And I think that her character and Dan would really get along, both neurotic about stupid, pointless, and uninteresting plot points. Plus 3.
Even on a fake scripted version of his own talk show, Jimmy Fallon is incredibly awkward and can’t interact with his guests like a normal human. Plus 25.
Olivia is a guest on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon 2 times in 1 month. I guess that’s a pretty accurate representation of how badly that show is doing. Plus 10.
There has been a lot of comments about Fallon’s role in the episode, but since the only late night tv I watch is west coast sports, bull riding on Versus, or Life on Top and Lingerie on Cinemax I don’t feel qualified to judge.
Nate
Behind every successful man in a great woman. Apparently Tripp’s wife runs this show and is even more conniving than Nate’s grandpa could have ever imagined. That should win her some points with the old dude at least! Plus 2.
Was completely turned on by Trip’s conniving redheaded wife, first time I have been attracted to any of the female characters since the writers wrecked Blair. Plus 4.
Nate continues to be my favorite character. He is taking charge and even though his initial plans get foiled by dim chicks (Vanessa, Serena), he preserves and ultimately succeeds. Combine piloting a successful House campaign with getting Dan to do his
Chuck
I don’t know why the writers continue to play “just the tip” with Chuck Bass. Its like putting a 44 magnum in the hands of a 6 year old. If you can’t fucking shoot it……give it to somebody who can or will. Minus 25.
Chuck used to be a sexual deviant, now he is a relationship with his dream girl and he is wearing night gowns and abstaining from sex. Don’t buy it. Minus 10.
Dan
He is way too cool about always having his ex and his current girlfriend in the same place and communicating. That is not okay under any circumstance, it only leads to major problems. Minus 30
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